Dude...

So, yeah, I have a headache the size of ..... I don't know, Texas?

This headache's name is "My LIFE lately." It's been rough. I have had some tumbles. I am exhausted. I know that I've been saying that I've been exhausted for a while, but this is from the inside out. It is way too much to get out and to discuss, but I've made some choices.

I had a wonderful night out last night with the Girls - Jen and Chessy. We went and saw "He's Just Not That into You," and it was awesome. Hilarious. So freaking hilarious. There's so many truths and laughs in this movie. I can't wait to add it to my DVD collection.

Hanging out together and enjoying the chick flick was so fun. And I need more of that. I have more time now and I need to have fun. I don't quite know how, but I'm going to work on that. I need to work on that. I'm wearing myself thin and tired trying not to have fun. It's just that simple. So first thing, more fun for me.

I've had a serious problem with telling people "No" forever. I know that it doesn't always seem like it should be an issue for me, but yeah, I have trouble with it. I know that I've said it in the past, but yeah, I'm going to work on that too. It may not always be a verbal "no," but I can't keep putting myself through all this for no good reason. Sometimes people just need to figure it out for themselves. Sometimes the guilt trip needs to be for someone else. Sometimes it's just got to not get to me.

I've got a good head on my shoulders and an even better heart, so I think I can do this. I have a few wonderful people in my life, and they are here for a reason. They see the "Val" that I usually don't. They see my heart. They see my smile. They see my energy. They see my strength. They see me happy. They see my worth.

I don't always see it. I've let a lot of the hurt and ugly in the past ruin the good. I haven't even tried to learn from all this that's been going on, and really that's just too dangerous of a thing. I really don't ever want to have to try to learn whatever this is again. I've become obsessed with the checks and balances, and well, sometimes things just don't level out. I've got to remember that. I've got to believe in myself again. I've got to believe in good again. And hopefully with some time and a lot of effort, I will. For me.