There really just isn't much...

There really just isn't much to say. Or maybe there's just too much.

I haven't had the time to just sit down and write something. I haven't been sketching. I've been just working and thinking and sleeping and just Running Rampant. Wasn't that was I just finished telling myself I wasn't going to do for a while?

I'm a little caught up in things today. I am thinking about luck. All the blind stupid luck. And how stupid, stupid, stupid douche-bags of people seem to have the blind stupid luck. And well, that just blows. Sometimes you wonder with luck, how does work fit in? How does karma fit in? How does a good heart fit in? I think about what I can and cannot do. The things that I totally believe I'm capable of and those I fear experiencing the most. The love that those things take. The hurt that could potentially be felt. The loss in failure versus the risk in avoidance. I think about being right on top of people and having absolutely nothing to say to them. How we float in and out of each others' days, saying the old familiars. Speaking, conversing, but not really communicating anything at all. It frustrates me. And I think about the people in my life that I can't get enough of. I try to focus on these shimmering "Awesomes" in my life. I hate and love how time seems to slip so quickly with them. I think how more they mean to me every day. I process the tears. I think about the laughter. It's all so fucked up. To put it bluntly.

I roll through these thoughts lately - like a smooth worn worry stone in the pocket of my favorite jacket. Rubbing the details right in or out of its shape.

So much of this is fueled by the 3 beers and all the hormone... It probably makes no sense at all.

Meme

I read this on Dooce's blog, and even though I'm not "married" I thought it would be fun to say a little something about my life with the other half of my person. And for some of those things to be nice. LOL

What are your middle names?
His is Holcomb and Mine is Joan. His middle name came from his mother's maiden name. It's a tad strange because Zach actually looks quite a bit like his Grandfather. I got my middle name from my Great Aunt. Aunt Joan is the youngest of my grandfather's 3 sisters and happens to be born on the same day as my mom. Weird.

How long have you been together?
7 years, 10 months, and 2 days. And counting.

How long did you know each other before you started dating?
We met once through a mutual friend when we all had dinner together about a year and a half before our first date.

Who asked whom out?
I'm not sure. We both kind of wanted to go see a movie at the same time, but it didn't officially become a "date" until he grabbed my hand in the theater and didn't let go until he left. :D So I guess I'll blame this one on him.

How old are each of you?
He is 28 and I'm 26.

Whose siblings do you see the most?
Zach's. He has more family and we live in closer proximity to them. We see them like EVERY SINGLE WEEK.

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Finding the time and giving the space. We have a constant flux of company and demands. We're extremely busy together and apart. Sometimes that gets in the way of everything that is wonderful about our life together, and sometimes there's a fight. It always eventually get worked out, and really, not such an uncommon thing. We just have to take a break from everything every now and then before it gets out of hand. Not such a bad problem to have.

Did you go to the same school?
Nope, even when I did finally move to Texas, I never went to school in the Bubble that is the Woodlands.

Are you from the same home town?
No - Zach has lived here in the Houston area his entire life. I was born and raised for the first 16 years of my existence in Lawton/Fort Sill, Oklahoma. I used to miss it a lot more than I do now.

Who is smarter?
Each of us has our areas of strength. Zach's probably smarter though because his knowledge is a tad bit more practical than mine. I can form decent sentences, am great at math, and am full of ridiculous trivia. I say Zach is smarter because his brain is more likely to save our lives in danger than mine.

Who is the most sensitive?
Uh. ME. Sometimes Zach is in a place where he's like "Feelings? What are feelings?"

Where do you eat out most as a couple?
We have a ridiculously bad habit of going out to eat. I'm working on that. There's a lot of mexican and asian food in our life.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
My hometown.

Who has the craziest exes?
Umm.. probably me because I have more to pick from.

Who has the worst temper?
Zach's random explosions can be HORRIFYING, but I'm more likely to freak out on a regular basis. His temper is scary, but my fuse is definitely shorter.

Who does the cooking?
ME! But I enjoy it most of the time.

Who is the neat-freak?
We both are - just about different areas.

Who is more stubborn?
Tie.

Who hogs the bed?
I know that I do. I have to have the most pillows. I move around and talk in my sleep and who knows what else. Zach is usually right where he fell asleep every morning. I hog the bed, but sometimes he's a little stingy with the covers.

Who wakes up earlier?
I do. Whether it is on purpose for work during the week or just the natural time clock going off on the weekend, I will wake up first. Zach NEVER wants to get out of bed.

Where was your first date?
Deerbrook Mall AMC 24

Who is more jealous?
I don't know. I guess me.

How long did it take to get serious?
About a month. We fell pretty hard for each other because we hadn't been really looking for each other.

Who eats more?
We're pretty even. The days that I have to be reminded to have lunch he reminds me. And visa versa.

Who does the laundry?
Me.

Who's better with the computer?
I'm better at all the things that aren't very useful. He's good with all the programmy-graphicy-stuff.

Who drives when you are together?
I like to let him drive. I drive way more than he does when we're not together.

Quickly.. in case you didn't know

Here's the link to the small page I made for the Race Team:

http://teamfatcat.webs.com

This is the info site for our team for the Gator-o-rama - 24 Hours of LeMons event next weekend here in Houston!

FUN FUN! :D

Dude...

So, yeah, I have a headache the size of ..... I don't know, Texas?

This headache's name is "My LIFE lately." It's been rough. I have had some tumbles. I am exhausted. I know that I've been saying that I've been exhausted for a while, but this is from the inside out. It is way too much to get out and to discuss, but I've made some choices.

I had a wonderful night out last night with the Girls - Jen and Chessy. We went and saw "He's Just Not That into You," and it was awesome. Hilarious. So freaking hilarious. There's so many truths and laughs in this movie. I can't wait to add it to my DVD collection.

Hanging out together and enjoying the chick flick was so fun. And I need more of that. I have more time now and I need to have fun. I don't quite know how, but I'm going to work on that. I need to work on that. I'm wearing myself thin and tired trying not to have fun. It's just that simple. So first thing, more fun for me.

I've had a serious problem with telling people "No" forever. I know that it doesn't always seem like it should be an issue for me, but yeah, I have trouble with it. I know that I've said it in the past, but yeah, I'm going to work on that too. It may not always be a verbal "no," but I can't keep putting myself through all this for no good reason. Sometimes people just need to figure it out for themselves. Sometimes the guilt trip needs to be for someone else. Sometimes it's just got to not get to me.

I've got a good head on my shoulders and an even better heart, so I think I can do this. I have a few wonderful people in my life, and they are here for a reason. They see the "Val" that I usually don't. They see my heart. They see my smile. They see my energy. They see my strength. They see me happy. They see my worth.

I don't always see it. I've let a lot of the hurt and ugly in the past ruin the good. I haven't even tried to learn from all this that's been going on, and really that's just too dangerous of a thing. I really don't ever want to have to try to learn whatever this is again. I've become obsessed with the checks and balances, and well, sometimes things just don't level out. I've got to remember that. I've got to believe in myself again. I've got to believe in good again. And hopefully with some time and a lot of effort, I will. For me.

Sunday Sum Up

This weekend has been pretty nice. I've made no strict plans, and well, that worked out pretty good for me.

Friday after work, I went to visit Zach. His bosses and the new girl weren't there, so I figured "Why the hell not?" I stopped on my way and bought us Slushies at Sonic and went to kill some time while his work clock ran out. It was nice. It went by way quicker than I had expected. We laughed and joked as we sat next to each other on the computer. We flirted here and there. It was nice to just enjoy each other's company with no other reason or distraction. It warmed me up - stealing little kisses between phone calls and emails, playfully pushing each other around in Office chairs, and giggling at whatever stupid thing that was said or silly face that was made.

Zach mentioned that a comedian was coming to town on tour. This prompted a little argument because I had Stephen Lynch mixed up with some one else. I thought Stephen Lynch was dead. I don't know why, but I heard something on the Radio and got the stories crossed years ago. But apparently Stephen Lynch is NOT dead. Which is great - he's hilarious.

Here's a link to one of his CD's which was the most recent Comedy Central Special I think - Here

So we talked about him coming to Houston. And Zach bought us tickets to go. It's my valentine's day present. Now I really need to come up with something. Doh.

The rest of the night we just hung out some more at the house. We met Chris at Taco Cabana, where I think all the employees were doing drugs. They were some major crack heads. Seriously. Zach was wearing some shirt with some random logo from a made up place. The chick at the register asked Zach if worked at a karaoke bar. Then another guy kept putting up chairs on the tables even though it wasn't even 8PM.

The guys went back to the house and worked on the Jag. I'll really be glad when all that is over. I don't even really remember going to bed, but I did.

Woke up early the next morning. Made a yummy big breakfast for Zach, Chris, and me. I really enjoy cooking and Chris told me that one day I'd have a real kitchen. LOL They were going to work on the car for the day again, so I just figured I'd chill or go somewhere. Chessy wasn't busy so I drove out to hang with her. She was super cute as usual. It was sunny and springy outside and she had the perfect Sundress. I'm so glad that it will soon be spring again and I'll feel a bit better with more sunshine.

We went and drank some Starbucks. We chatted with Jen and some of the other girls at work and off. Chessy got me back into crocheting from the glorious Motif book. We figured out the problem and eventually got on a roll with it. We took it back to her house so we BOTH could crochet. We drank coffee. She got me addicted to General Hospital.

No seriously, I'm so going to watch it off the internet now. Do you think Spinelli's going to live? I mean - who is going to survive now that the OR blew up???

And we crocheted for HOURS. I'm going to make a wrap or something. I need new potholders too. YAY! It's nice to finally enjoy crochet again. I've relaxed a little now and it's so much easier now. So wonderful!!!

I eventually went home... Boys were still working on the car. They quit and we watched Pineapple Express. Oh geez, that stuff's hilarious. Then we went to bed.

Today was Taylor's birthday party. She liked the bracelet and she's already made 2 designs for Converse, so our Gift certificate will definitely help. She's so funny. It is hard to believe that she's 12, but at least she still thinks we're fun and cool. I know that will eventually change so I really cherish days like today. We had Granny tacos, and now I'm going to be full for a few days. LOL

Now we're home again. Chris and Zach are working on the car. I read for a little while. I thought about crocheting, but I'm trying to give my hands a little rest. Gotta try to stay relaxed - back to work tomorrow. Hopefully it won't be a week of Mondays again.

Another recent obsession

Here's another way I've been spending all my free time. A few weekends back, Chessy, Jen and I spent the late afternoon to evening playing SingStar at Jen's apartment. It was hilarious. It was awesome. It was all my love of karaoke, music videos, friends, and such all wrapped into one and we didn't even have to leave the house or pay for overpriced drinks.

I have since bought the game pictured for myself at home. It came with 2 microphones and I sing sing sing all by myself. Honestly I'm just gearing up for the next drunken night we have at my place. I'll be well versed in all the songs that I'd never really known the words or notes to before. It will be awesome, and I will be victorious. Strike that, I will be SingStar.

I've also ordered 2 other games of the same series off eBay. Yeah, thanks. Another obsession.

It's kind of awesome being able to use the same excuse/thought process as the Boy does when he's home sometimes:
"Oh there's chores to do? Eh.. I'll get to them after I play my video game."

This could be trouble, but at least I'm distracted!

What can I say... I'm a hooker.

So yes, on one of my girly trips out recently, I bought this book. I don't know what it is, but lately I've had a bit of creativity block.

OK I take that back. I've had a huge motherload of creativity iceberg block. It sucks. I can't think. I can't write. I can't draw. I can't knit. I can't crochet. But that said, I've REALLY been trying to get out of the slump with that.

This book is wonderful. It has gorgeous pictures that inspire to do circles, squares, hexagons, triangles, and other assorted shape motifs in crochet. I has the pictures. It has wonderfully written instructions. It even encourages you to learn how to read the cute little charts that I never was quite sure actually meant anything.

I've drooled over many many many of the motifs. Sadly, I've yet to accomplish one. I start in on one.. and well, it looks funny in the yarn I've picked to use, looks too small or too large with the gauge of hook I've chosen, or just plain just doesn't look like the pictures show it should.

I'll get over it soon and it will be glorious. At least in the mean time, I'm getting a lot of practice in unraveling and learned how to start the PERFECT circle.

Long time

It's been a long time, but I really just haven't had much to say or much time to think about saying anything.

I'm going to work on this. Even if it is a quick jot from my phone.

I'll be writing, drawing, and taking pictures more now.

Hope this helps me. I need it.

Compulsion

No more Christmas for me folks!

Having a random but frequent compulsion of wanting to punch in faces.

Note to the planet: Don't do nice things for people just to try to control them and to see what you get out of it. Do what you want; if you want to do good, just do it.

Otherwise, go Eff yourself and do us all a favor.

Night!

Current Obsession - Reading

Murder mystery just seems like a natural progression after Vampire romance right?

Ok - yeah so, it's been a LONG while

I know I haven't been writing for sometime. It is definitely not because I have nothing going on. There's really been way too much to going. I don't know where to start and what to say, so instead of hashing it out over and over again like I have been in my head every minute of every day, I'm moving on. Or trying too. Here's to living in the moment and being random.

Ugh, hopefully this will make my brain stop slamming against my skull and trying to constantly escape.

Oh the craziness….

I haven’t updated in a long time so I need to get it all out of my head before it just disappears. I’ve been making mad time in trying to clean up and catch up, a constant whirl of activity, as if I didn’t have enough to think and do before this month came along.

I’ve been trying to sort things out and get them all flat in front of me, to inspect the folds and the texture in the paper of what is going on in my life right this moment. I don’t really know where I’m headed. Since the storm, I’ve had to bottle up and pack away that which was “normal” for our daily routine, and I’m just now getting where I can pull each part out. Going piece by piece again to inspect it – trying to tie its value to what is the “present” before tossing it to the burn pile. A whole lot has happened to make me really think about what’s important now. As if the hurricane didn’t scare enough into me.

My little circle lost 2 people in the past couple of weeks.

For some reason other than normal, I was emotionally on edge last, last Tuesday. I blamed it on hormones, but I still couldn’t shake it. I could NOT tolerate getting picked on at work and was easily brought to tears, which just scared the Boys more. LOL As I frantically tried to pull myself together, I got a call. It was Candy. Hysterical. I had to have her repeat her news over and over, although I knew it hurt, just because I couldn’t wrap my head around the words. Our friend Yohan had died.

He was a part of my life many years ago and would briefly flutter in and out throughout the years. Mack introduced me to Yohan and Zach for the first time the same night, back when I was a Senior in high school. I can still remember so much of that night. We goofed around and had Taco Bell for dinner. We went back to my apartment. I baked Chocolate chip cookies. Zach made me laugh so hard I almost peed myself. I ran around in my long yellow t-shirt nightgown, while we made jokes and laughed. Yohan fell asleep in the recliner – where instead of snoring, he kind of moaned.

Yohan, Mack, and I became even better friends after that; I wouldn’t see Zach again really until our first date years later. Yohan was understanding. Yohan was a confidant. He helped me understand so many things about myself that I didn’t quite get. We laughed a lot. He helped me get through my first “It’s not you – it’s me” rejection. I miss him a lot, even though we grew apart over the last few years. I hate that the last time I saw him, we were all so sad. I’ll always remember the Yohan that made me laugh (even if I didn’t care to know why).

There won’t be any memorial or funeral here for Yohan, so I’ll just have to drink an extra drink for him this year and smile an extra smile for my gone friend.

Zach’s great Uncle Charlie also passed that same week. He was 92 years old and had been married to Aunt Frankie for 71 years. He was a bright and shiny kind of person that made you laugh and feel loved. The loss of him to his wife and family is just HEART-BREAKING. I don’t know a lot of Zach’s Mom’s side of the family and getting to meet them and listen to their stories at the viewing and the funeral gave me a chance to see more of Charlie. Although the time I got to know him was a flash in the pan, those stories painted a fuller view of the large heart he had. The full life he lived. The day of the funeral was just the right amount of warm and cool, and it all seemed to fit right together under the massive Oak trees.

So that wiped out the last week of September for me.

October unfortunately has brought its own brand of drama, but I’m just trying to steer clear. There’s just such a hard line in being there for the people you care about and getting used. I’m trying to keep with my policy of letting go and embracing the positive. People have a tendency to go and do what they want, and not always what they have to do. The lies and excuses made for one’s own selfishness are more than I could ever have imagined, and I’ll have to find a way to forgive, forget, or just move on. It will eventually sort itself out. I just hate the way they had to happen and wish (however useless that might be) that things could have been different.

But it’s going to be just fine.

Work has resumed at its normal pace of crazy. I love my job more and more each day for the distraction it brings. It is the perfect love-hate want-need environment that gives me just enough stress to distract, just enough structure to plan the week out, and just enough value to make me feel grounded and needed somewhere.

I got to have a great weekend this past weekend. Friday night Zach and I went to Chessy and Adam’s house. We brought over beer, wine, the PS3, and Iron Man. Since the boys figured out how to play the PS3 on the TV, Chessy and I got a chance to run out on the porch and just hang. Just the TWO of us. It was pretty wonderful. We’ve been super busy lately and I miss her so much when we don’t get to hang or talk as much as we would like. The hurricane total blew our birthday plans for her, and she started work not shortly after that. So we had a great bottle of wine, secret smokes, and even better conversation.

Saturday I had a lazy morning and afternoon with Zach. We’ve really been happy lately. I know I’ve probably jinxed myself now, but the last month has really drawn me closer to him. We’re goofy and complete each other in that “Gag me you 2 are too cute” way. It will be 7.5 years this month. Whoa.

I ended up going to dinner with my Mom Saturday night and then going to visit my girl forEVER, Danielle. It has seriously been more than a YEAR since we got to see each other so I was really excited about going out with her and staying the night like Old Times. After a beer at her place and finishing up her online homework, we hit up Fitz for some music and some drinks. I got to meet a lot of wonderful, beautiful people and listen to some pretty cool music and conversation. Good time all around!!! At some point, we made our way back home and went straight to bed!

Next morning we had Breakfast that turned into brunch at one of our old hang spots, the House of Pies. Yum. Thank you, Acapulco Breakfast. You were the cure to my headache even though you gave me a tummy ache eventually. Then Danni and I rushed to Edward’s and saw “Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist,” which I loved more than I ever expected. I want the soundtrack and Danni wants a nerdy boyfriend with excellent music taste. Where’s FLUFFY?!!!!!! LOL After the movie, I took Danni home and made her go study and made me go home. Zach and I got to go hang with his mom, sister, brother-in-law, and niece. Niki made some AWESOME roast, rice, and gravy. It was not ONLY delicious, but I didn’t have to cook!!! Score. We ended the night with a hearty game of Scrabble. Note: Zach is a sore loser.

Then I had to go through Monday, which wasn’t as bad as I had expected, but still pretty rough. It was all OK once I left because of the following:

A. Talked to Candy and she misses me too. I’ll probably visit tomm or Thursday while Denny’s at work.

B. Visited mom and she gave me a back rub in effort to transfer some of her sunshine energy.

C. Traffic wasn’t that bad and I got to the Woodlands at a decent time.

D. Didn’t have to cook – Zach wanted to meet up for dinner with the Family again at Los Cucos.

E. I got mexican food!!! And a margarita!

F. We all played scrabble again – where I schooled the crew AGAIN and Zach was still a sore loser.

So that’s that, and it took me forever to type this…. And now I have to go fall asleep immediately so I can go back to work tomorrow! SUPER EARLY!

New fave....

Note to everything and everyone:

I freaking love the Cho Show on vh1.
Ha ha click here to hear her single... "I Cho Am a Woman"

Yeah, it's pretty surreal.

We finally have power and water in our house now, and slowly pieces are starting to fall back into places where they belong. I wouldn’t say they’re going back to normal because the pieces have definitely been changed and affected. For who knows how long.

The storm came. It came with a freaking vengeance. Like nothing I could have ever prepared myself for or expected or imagined. It was massive.

Last moment I had to collect my thoughts was in a rush – hurried after working late to close up the office last, last Thursday – ironically September 11th. I had worked late to try and give as many people I could an opportunity to pick up their paychecks at the office instead of mailing them. It took me almost 2 hours to get home the back way, but I probably made better time than if I had gone on the freeway. Mom and Uncle Bill were stuck for a few hours going 15 mph on the way to Oklahoma evacuating.

The rest of my Thursday evening and Friday were a blur of hurricane prep. Laundry. Supply gathering. Cleaning. Digging. Raking. Boarding up windows. Muttering curse words to whirling skies. Fear. Fear.
Oh, and more Fear of the Unknown. We hadn’t decided on where we were going to weather the storm. I let Zach do that. I didn’t want to be the one to chose. We ended up deciding to stay at the “Fortress” – at Zach’s Dad’s house, next door to the Shop where we live.

I made brownies before we had our pre-hurricane meal. If the world was going to end, I wanted to make sure that we at least ate dessert. I just work that way I guess.

I made myself a stiff drink – stiff enough to calm my nerves, but not so sloshy that I couldn’t function. I did a card reading that washed away a little bit more of that anxiety. It just hinted that we were where we were supposed to be. It helped. I was calm and able to sleep until the storm hit and turned off the lights.

It was quiet and loud all at the same time. The creaks and groans of metal, wood, and all things man had tried to piece together in shelter. The freight train and whirring shreaks of the 100-plus mile per hour winds. The sharp and swift snap of trees. The crash and crunch of where the trees were thrown and tossed. Everything was kissed by salt – as if this was just a bad dream while on vacation again at the beach house. The speed and sheer force for the wind was so much more than I had expected. The water had always been my worry, and I’d given little thought to what wind was capable of.

Morning broke and we had no power, just a few rooms run off the generator. We had no running water because our house runs off the Well. Every surface outside was littered with flecks of green and brown. Several trees were torn from the ground and slapped elsewhere – on power lines and rooftops. Some were snapped plain in half.

We had 2 basically where Zach and I live. One on the small shed supported up by a small fishing boat. One large crushing the back roof of paint booth and draped across the building roof, stuck in place by the fan’s exhaust shroud. Cables ripped and stripped from where they once were. The guys tried to go out to survey damage once we knew the storm had passed (after hours of wind and rain). They got stuck for a little while – a tree fell after they drove down the road and we had to get a chainsaw to cut it out and to the side.

Days were filled with yard work and more yard work. There were people from all over the country trying to work with the power companies to restore power to the millions of people in our Houston area – the disaster area compared to the size of New York state. We tried to distract each other with cool drinks and late night Scrabble bouts. The weather turned cool which made the lack of A/C bearable. I eventually got used to the gentle whir of the generator at night and now kind of wonder how I’ll sleep without it tonight. Outlook would go back and forth from bleak to elated constantly.

I felt cut off and disconnected. The first few days my phone would work – hit or miss. Nothing like what I was used to. I had to wait 2 hours in the car for Gas. Stores were normally closed, or their shelves were bare and people could only go in “One family member per group.” We had assigned dinnerware. We’d drive to shower in the dark, but at least there was a shower. And sometimes it might be hot. We gathered around radios and battery-operated TV’s for news for a change. I think that was the first time my Radio’s ever been on AM, embarrassingly enough. Everything got singed with the scent of fire. I actually welled up a bit with tears when Candy and I went out together and I saw a WORKING stoplight. I worried about how we would keep Taylor’s insulin cold. She’s only 11 years old and our only niece. Their power was out and we all looked for ice to keep her medicine cool in coolers. I was so glad Mom went to Lawton as much as I missed her. Her nursing home/rehab got water and lost power. They were on generators for quite a while with the rest of us.

I reassured friends and family that it was all OK – not as bad as it sounded, even if they said it might be a month again before we had lights. I eventually had work to distract me with its normal stress again. I was glad in a bittersweet way. A few friends and family didn’t have much to go back to – some work places completely destroyed or time delay due to power outages and water.

I got depressed as the days worn on, but it really was only a week or so. I felt like a wuss in reflection because for us, it REALLY wasn’t that bad. Some places for some people, no lights, no water and no end in sight is a reality – every day. And so many so close to here have lost EVERYTHING. I think back on where we stayed over Memorial Day weekend quite a bit now. I’m not 100% sure, but they say that beach is gone completely now. The house we made home for a short while is now probably stilts or just debris. It really makes you think of all that we take for granted here every day. It will take me a while to not kind of act surprised when I flick a switch and light comes on. Hopefully this new spark of thought won’t fade. We're home now. Now for the overwhelming task of cleaning it all up and clearing our heads again. Like I said, things are falling back into place, but altered with the opportunity of variable change.

All for now, going to try and sleep.

Like WHOA

DAMN THAT BITCH IS HUGE!

Quickie

Super quick update -

Ike is on its merry little way to H*town. I am kind of freaking out because I've never been in Houston for what looks to be a real hurricane. We got all prepped and spazzed over Rita, but where I'm at, it didn't really happen much. They are saying Ike is going to be stronger than Alicia, and well, I have heard way too many scary stories about that Bitch. So yeah, I'm freaked.

We've done what we can for the night. I'm trying to do as much laundry as possible so that we have clean clothes at least! :D Zach's dad has a generator at his place if we lose power, but still.

Mom is out. Uncle Bill drove her to Oklahoma today, so I'm really relieved about that. She has meds and is out of the Home for a week at least and she is safe. I was REALLY freaking out over that!!!

Work is closed. I was there until 5PM today and won't have to go back until Monday - as long as the building and such is still there.

I'll keep you posted when I can if I can :D Happy thought this way, OK?

Sometimes...

Sometimes I just want to shoot something.

Sometimes I cook just to get the funk out of my head - like the whirling aromas and playful mixtures for spice wisps away all that is bad for the day.

Sometimes I wish there was Nothing. Just complete silence for just a little while.

Sometimes I get my hopes up in people that I know really are going to let me down sooner than I expected, but I still hope - hope for a change. A surprise.

Sometimes I work late because I revel in the distraction - work is one of the few places I feel like what I do matters to how things keep going.

Sometimes I really miss my fair-weather friends because they were comforting for a little while.

Sometimes I hate being the oldest.

Sometimes I hate needing to be responsible the majority of the time.

Sometimes I write letters that I know I won't send just to vent it out.

Sometimes I really think my dog's the only one that really listens to me when I'm talking.

My next job - What do you think?

OH BABY YOU!!!!!!!!

OK so this has been in my head for the past few days... sing along!

Frustration Inspiration

So I'm really wanting some new dishes for the house. Zach and family got me this amazing dragonfly tea set a year or so back for Christmas and it's amazing. I love it so much. It's an actual cast iron set from Japan. It's really inspired what I want my kitchen to be like - the set a focal point of all the dinnerware. Now to find something remotely similar. *bangs head on desk*